2008 MLB Regular Season

2008 Season Preview: Arizona Diamondbacks

Welcome back to the Yard Work 2008 Season Preview. Every day or so, up until and past Opening Day, some person from some place will sound off on some team. In Part Two of our series, Arizona Senator (and presidential hopeful) John McCain talks about his home-state Diamondbacks, and being old.

As I’ve been touring this great nation of ours, speaking to the people about my interest and need in becoming the next President of these United States, many questions have been asked by the fine men and women I’ve had the pleasure to meet along the way. When will we get our tax refund checks? When will we invade another Arab nation? When will America build a large stone wall topped with barbed wire and sniper towers at our most vulnerable borders to prevent neighboring countries from flooding our fruited plains with dangerous alien immigrants? And, most importantly, what do you consider the most important qualification for a presidential candidate? The answer to that last question is, of course, experience.

To run a nation as great as the United States, you need perspective and wisdom, two things that you can only acquire via experience. I have served as the representative of Arizona’s 1st district for four years, and have proudly represented Arizona in the U.S. Senate for over twenty years. I have also served this country in times of war, including eight years as a Vietnamese POW. I have been the recipient of a Silver Star, a Bronze Star, the Legion of Merit, the Purple Heart, and the Distinguished Flying Cross. I have also been married two times. No matter what talents my honorable opponents may possess, and no matter whose influence they can sway, and no matter whose votes they might steal, all their experiences put together can’t hold a candle to what I’ve seen and heard throughout my 71 years of life.

Experience is also...

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